#is it even possible to kinfirm all of them

[majesticallyunmagestic]

Hey! Little critters in my phone who kin Adam, Lucifer, Husk, Nifty, Alastor, Vox, and/or Angel Dust; How??

Oh shit that sounds bad. Not "how do you kin [above]" but how did you figure that out??

Sincerely, This Guy, who's had ALL OF THOSE IN THE KINSIDER PILE FOREVER

[straydogkins]

How do I know if I am kin?

GIF credit | Divider credit

Regardless of if it's fictionkin or otherkin, this is a question I see a lot of people asking. The brutal truth is that no one can tell you that you kin or don't- It has to be you that comes to that conclusion.

However, I have put together a small guide on how I would personally approach a potential kin situation. It's all under the cut!

Note: If any information here is completely wrong then please lmk, although I've been in the kin community for a while, I am NOT an expert. Also, this post is written from a fictionkin POV, but I have tried to be as inclusive as possible.

Reminders

I know everyone is probably sick of hearing this but being kin is different for everyone, there is no definitive method of confirming your kins. However, it's important to remember this as some of the kinfirming methods and labels I describe may not apply to you at all- And that's okay.

I also want to say that it's completely okay to be wrong! I see a lot of people who are scared to be wrong about being kin with anything, but I promise that if you're wrong about being any kintype it's completely okay. Just explore and find what labels fit you.

Types of kin

Something that's helped me is remembering that there are multiple types of kin.

Fictionkin/Otherkin/Objectkin/Placekin/ect- These are all different types of kin. Fictionkin= From fiction, Otherkin= Animal, Placekin= Place, Plantkin= Plants, ect. You can kin pretty much anything.

Therian (also known as a therianthrope)- Is someone who identifies as nonhuman to some degree (ie identifying as a cat, or a dog, or a dragon, ect).

Spiritual (also known as Past Life and Multiverse) kin- As the name suggests it's a form of kin where you believe you were [kin] in a past life. However spiritual kin does not need to be 'past life' and could be involved with theories such as: The multiverse, alternative universes, ect.

Psychological kin- Is a form of kin when you don't believe you're the character in a past life, but you share a connection psychologically with them.

Fictionhearted/Otherhearted/Synpath- All of two words mean the same thing: they are referring to a kin that you identify with but not as. You can have a strong connection with a character to consider them a part of your identity but not think of them as you. (Definition taken from here). Note that otherhearted = animal and fiction hearted = fictional character.

Copinglink (also called c'link) and otherlink- Means that you are identifying as a fictional character or species for coping purposes. Those purposes are usually due to trauma, illness, disability, etc. (Definition taken from here) Note that again otherlink = animal and fictionlink = fictional character.

Kin for fun (also known as KFF)- I was hesitant to add this as a lot of kin folk (myself included) do not like this term. However, I decided to add it so people know. KFF is what the name suggests, they only kin for fun. However, the main issues arise as those involved with KFF tend to ignore actual kin folk, the community's history, and can be incredibly ableist (ie 'at least I'm not like those delusional kin' is a common sentiment I've seen) so please keep this in mind. Here is a redit thread explaining kin folks thoughts on the issue. (NOTE: Otherlinks and copinglinks are not KFF)

'Other'- As I said at the start of this post there are types of kins who don't fit any of these! For example there are kin folk with memories that don't class themselves as spiritual kin or believe in past lives and/or the multiverse- Kinning is entirely personal so even if you dont fit any of these categories you can still kin.

For more terms and better explanations, I would advise checking out this post on the therian guide and this post by fictkinhelp on tumblr. For other resources I will link the fictionkin and otherkin reddits, however I am unsure what the communities are like there.

I know that because there are so many definitions and types it can get overwhelming, however I personally find them helpful so I can classify my own experiences easier.

For example: If I look at a character with [trauma], I often link them to my own experiences and think that I kin them with no memories attached or the nagging feeling that it's more- Thus I know then they are a copinglink. However, if I'm looking at a character and I start getting the gut instinct that I kin them, then it's more likely to be a past life kin. Obviously, a kin can fit more than one of these categories (ie a character who has been through [trauma] and I get the Gut Feeling of, then it's possible they are a copinglink and a spiritual kin)

How do I know if I kin?

There is no concrete method that I know of, and these are just ones I use and/or have seen others use.

Dreams

Dreams are interesting, what I've found is that sometimes I'll dream that I am [character], but the dream at large won't make sense. Because of that I will look up the meanings of the symbolism in dreams and come to my own conclusions there. Another thing is that the dream may make complete sense and be very literal.

Divination

Divination is a great tool imo, especially for spiritual matters. For kinning I often use: a pendulum (if you can't afford a fancy crystal one then a paper clip or anything heavy on the end of a string will work) and tarot cards (here is a kinsidering spread by faetarot). However, you can literally use anything! I've also used music, rain, dice, idol gacha cards, I even have a friend who uses cards against humanity for divination.

However, I will note that I would personally take everything with a grain of salt, especially if you are doing the reading on yourself- Your own emotions can influence a reading, and all methods have limitations in what they can tell you.

Gut feeling

One of the main things that really guides me is gut feeling. I don't know how to describe it, it's like a large pang of emotion that often times feels like nostalgia, but it can also be much more negative and resemble shame or anger depending on what I'm looking at or trying to remember.

Of course, getting used to this takes time and practice, and I don't have many tips, it's just a skill you develop over time.

Memories

This only really works for spiritual kin stuff (at least that I'm aware of), however I want to mention that memories often follow an event. Ie, doing a divination reading on what your friend group was like may trigger emotions and/or memories of that.

Memories are also a thing that develops over time, when I was younger and first getting involved with the kin community, I couldn't get memories as easy as I do today.

I do want to mention that you can be kin without memories, and that memories come in many forms (emotional, tactile, ect) so not having visual memories (or any memories at all) does not mean you are faking or make you any less valid than someone who gets memories.

Other signs I didn't know how to categorize

There are other things, one is what I call 'kin similarities', for example you may have a pattern of being kin with characters who fit the 'angry ginger' stereotype, you may kin characters who just so happen to always be the 'evil mastermind' or even ones who are just 'dog coded'- All of these can help you work out if you kin someone similar, however this tends to only be a thing that people with multiple kins can do and isn't always reliable.

Phantom limbs are another sign, I know a lot of otherkin and therian folk who have phantom limbs such was wings or teeth or other body parts (ie extra limbs, tails, ect). I will note however that if your phantom limbs are causing you serious and constant distress I would personally go to a doctor.

The feeling of 'this is me'

Honestly this is (imo) the most important indication you can have that you kin. Most non kin folk don't think to themselves 'Yeah I am [character], [animal], ect' or if they do it's a fleeting thought. If this thought is repeating every time you see [kin] and/or won't go away even when you aren't looking at them, then I would say there's a high chance that you may kin them.

A piece of advice I found on reddit is to try and think 'Do I relate to [kin], or am I [kin]?' I know it's hard to work this out, so I would say that 'trying on' the kin for a bit may help.

For example, if I was kin with a dog I may try and picture myself as one, call myself a dog, even use the pronoun closet to change my name to my kins name, all of this to see how it feels for me personally.

Final notes

Remember that it's okay if it turns out that you do not kin a character, it's okay if you flip flop while trying to decide. Being kin is entirely personal.

If you have any corrections or tips you want to add, feel free to do so!

[critters-crimson-hollow]

˜”*°• Signs I am an Angel Dust kin •°*”˜

Updated 12/10/2024 : Angel was the one writing all of these but we didn’t back then! He was blending with me so yeah! Since we didn’t know we were a system, we talk at the 1st person. Anyway, good reading~

I'm writing down the similarities with my kins. This post is about my Angel Dust identity, so I advise you to read the wiki to understand better.

It can be different for anyone. It doesn't mean you are less or more Angel Dust than I am, okay? I made this to help people who are kinsidering but also to help me. Because you'll see, I have some behaviors or thoughts that are very toxic that I want to get rid of.

I made a list to be less triggering as possible. If you know Hazbin Hotel, you can already know what kind of things you can find on my list.

Anyway, good reading~

(Sorry for the mistakes, English isn't my native language~)

basic things to start with

green eyes, name starting with 'a', european, the date of birth is the 1st of the month…

ITALIAN FOOD!!!

huge fan of pastas (lasagna, ravioli, carbonara…)

prefer fruits over candies

i like cooking

i like to suck...

POPSICLES!

gay femboy~

actually, achillean, but it's still gay

feminine curves (I'm transmasc, I'm a damn curvy man~)

long nails, ALWAYS

fishnets and high boots~

prefer shorts over skirts

feminine body language and mannerisms I just slay~

animal lover!!!

pet owner of two baby kitties~ i would give my life for them

cats, pigs, and cows as pets ♡

i hate moths, too scary

my personality is rather...particular?

arrogant when i dislike you, a tease when i like you

sassy and sarcastic

confident on the outside...

but insecure on the inside.

a sister who is like a bestie~

let's talk about traumas now!

family trauma!

overly sexualized since my childhood, yeah

but i like looking sexy tho

i hate my dad

alcoholic dad and alcoholic family

but my mom's side is neat, so it's fine

if my mom wasn't a sweetie, i would have become like my dad-

my dad makes drugs~

he learned me how to do so

but nope, i won't do that

SA traumas~

love/hate relationship with abuser

it was my step dad, he was a father to me

he is out of my life now, tho

unfortunately, when you have a feminine body, sexual harassment never stops-

PTSD, depression, anxiety because why not

convince people only want to abuse me if they come talking to me trauma related

want a solid relationship built on respect, with someone who values me and wants to be with me…

but don't believe it's possible

because i'm just an object for men, right?

also, a good culture in sex subject without really knowing why

even if i'm aroace, i enjoy the idea of bdsm for some reasons

when i dream, if i encounter an abuser, i give them my body almost immediately

i prefer choosing to give it to them rather than being forced to

toxic, but i know i would do the same irl

i don't watch porn

~~inferiority and superiority complex~~

don't like being seen as vulnerable so…

masking at all cost!!!

"i'm doing just fine, darling." nope

i can handle myself.

but can someone help me..?

self desctuctive

negative self-talk and neglective of myself mostly

i get addicted too easily

to people AND things...

subscribed to toxic people, in friendship mostly

have a few friends i would give my life for

so protective, loyal and caring for them

i prefer being hurt than seeing them hurt

fear of abandonment

often feel like i don't worth people affection

i'm too messy

but i want to be better

overall, a loser baby traumatized boy

That's all I was thinking about! I'm not very proud of being this way, but I can't deny it. I didn't want to have Angel as a kin for a lot of those reasons and also because since I kinfirmed him, flashbacks and memories (from both my current life and kin life) are more recurrent.

I will do the same with my other kins but I wanted to start with my highest kin. -Angel/Stolas

[kittykatkatelol]

Okay after the cut is fnaf movie spoilers btw

long post warning lol

I just want to add that this is all my option lol please don't take it too seriously , I've been a fan of the franchise since Help Wanted and have seen nearly every game theory video of the games , I love fnaf and I loved it before kinfirming anything , this is just my option<3

so first off , I love this movie but not because like I loved the plot but just because of Easter eggs for the long time fans and shit like that

its good only bc of those easter eggs imo

like I loved matpat , the dream theory book , the kids crying black tears , the ella animatronic , the alarm clock beeping being the FNaF4 alarm sound , etc

Everything else ,,, no , I cannot say I liked too much else

i didn't really understand the whole Garrett plot line and Mike going into his dreams to try and get him back but whatever it's fnaf it doesn't have to make sense anymore I hasn't made sense in years (if it ever did) so I'm very neutral since it could have been done worse

What I hated was the whole Vanessa being William's daughter thing I just dislike the concept (which is possibly because I do kin an oc who happens to be William's daughter and who is also dating Vanessa so this really could just be because of that)

William felt alright ig but I feel could have been better , I really felt like the "I always come back line" was extremely forced and just didn't fit with the context , I would have loved to see him on the phone with Mike and just casually say "I always come back" in a joking manner of the sorts .

I didn't really get the kids either ,, like why did they want Abby so bad ?? what was that going to accomplish ? I get Willy's controlling them or whatever , but Golden Freddy seemed to be going of his own will , why did he want Abby so damn bad ?? am I just missing something ??

The animatronics & location were good , don't have much to say , they were done very well and I applaud that

multiple times throughout the movie I was just saying "This is the Silver Eyes and the Fourth Closet just mashed into one with a few extra plots" it made me wanna reread the trilogy bc THE WHOLE THING FELT LIKE THE SILVER EYES WITH NODS TO THE FOURTH CLOSET ,, I'm not mad about it technically , but it could have been done better . Either make a new plot line with only slight nods to it or just do the whole thing and make it well not this

i think we should have just gotten the Silver Eyes , and that's what the movies should have been , the book trilogy with slight nods and references to the games and fan stuff - that would have been an excellent movie SINCE THEY ALREADY WERE COPY AND PASTING SM OF IT

I would say what they copied but that would take too long , if you read the book and watched the movie then you'd see what I'm talking about

if you haven't read the Silver Eyes please read it , it will add so much to the story that the movie just didn't give me

the plot was odd and confusing , it made very little sense to me , the only parts I really got were the Silver Eyes and The Fourth Closet and even then it felt odd to see them just forced into this random movie that I feel should have had very little to do with the books

overall , they did an excellent job with the Easter eggs (Matpat , Sparky's , Ella , Dream Theory , etc) and the animatronics/pizzeria . The whole thing felt like they were doing a knockoff version of the Silver Eyes with an extra plot .

that is my humble option , I don't mean to upset anyone this is just what I thought after watching it

i love the movie will watch it again but purely because I love the easter eggs , seeing that stuff knowing it happened irl makes my fictionkin heart happy

read the Silver Eyes if you haven't , it is one of my favorite books to this day , it is like the movie but much better plot imo lmao

I might edit this later or reblog with more shit if I think of more things to add

thanks for reading if you got this far lol :]

[unhingedkinfessions]

Day #1 of sending daily kinfessions to @unhingedkinfessions as if they were my diary until they get tired of me

Date: Tuesday, February 6th, 2024

Theme of today's kinfession: Am i Matt Murdock?

Dear diary @unhingedkinfessions

I've been thinking that i might be Matt Murdock, having strong kin feels and some stuff that might be memories, i've also been watching Daredevil (of course), but honestly I still don't understand how the process of kinsidering has to be? I usually just go ahead and go crazy and just kinfirm straight ahead the characters i slightly feel like they fit, sometimes I'll do some pendulum questions but, do i have to do something else? I honestly don't know, i want to be serious with this one kin, i don't know why. I've also been thinking of re-kinsidering all of my fictotypes, doing some more thinking and doing it "properly". I've had past kins that were strong, some of them have changed over time, some i found other words to describe them, i also want to make a lot of soul searching (i don't even know how that's done but whatever, i'll find out). Anyways, that's all for today i think, have a nice day mods and wish me luck because my kinlist is lowkey long.

Sincerely: daily anon

Questions of the day for the mods (so they don't get tired of me for now)

Do you guys like mac&cheese? How much cheese could you add to the mac&cheese?

How much ranch is the correct ranch for a veggie salad?

hi daily anon. love the energy from this ask. idk kinsidering is extremely personal sometimes u just Know and sometimes it just has to cook in the oven for a while yk? it happens. also i love mac&cheese. havent made it in a while but honestly i love putting Way too much cheese on stuff so. A Lot. also i hate vegetables i wouldnt know abt salads -mod joker

hey daily anon. youve already failed cause this is a few days old at this point with no follow up. i make mac basically daily at this point theres more cheese in my body than blood. the correct question is how much cheese *can* you possibly fit in there. a fucking looney tunes amount. a downright roger rabbit amount. just keep it consistent and season well. none of that kraft shit. also veggie salad is something i havent had but probably the amount youd put on a normal salad yeah -mod dave

hi daily anon :) i love maccy chease. usually i just have like prepackaged or box made kind unless i'm getting it from somewhere but on the occasion i make it myself, ideally it's as much cheese as possible. and as many kinds. also baked maccy cheese is the best. put breadcrumbs and bacon and even more cheese on that bitch and pop it in the oven? soo good. also i dont eat ranch or any kind of salad dressing so none. -mod bender

this ask rules ok? and yea i get wanting to like . reconsider. i did that sorta recently, it takes a little thinking and reflecting but in the end it did feel nice to have a list of like, yeah, i Know that’s me and i didn’t force the vibes or say it halfheartedly etc this time. also you want so much cheese but you have to pick well . can’t 100% mozzarella it or something, you need a blend for good flavor and meltability. also i dont like ranch so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ —mod pikmin

hi anon, this ask is so cool. the others already covered it but i personally think that there’s no “proper” way to kin and it varies person to person :3 just do whatever feels right to you! sometimes you just know right away you kin and other times it takes the stars aligning in one really specific way to unlock the kin. as for the questions: i’m unfortunately a super picky eater so there’s not a lot of variety in foods i can handle </3 i don’t like salads generally and unless the mac is made in one really specific way chances are i won’t like it. - mod akechi

hey anon you left your grilled cheese on the stove it's burnt to hell and back please for the love of god come back and get it. anyways that's so real and it can definitely feel weird "losing connection" to certain kins or even realizing some weren't really true kin but it's ok. keep on cheesin. - mod navi

[anxiousautomaton]

dude bats are so fuckin cute

sky puppies

i love them

[a-dragons-journal]

I'm owning up to my mistake here.

My apologies. The issue is that the wording and methodology is extremely similar to how people do mock witches. As people who have experienced this quite a bit and have been in servers where people have vented about people doing this, it felt like something that does need to be addressed.

No, I wasn't claiming that asking questions you know the answer to is bad practice. It's how you calibrate a pendulum and check for lies.

However, I do disagree that making someone an unknowing test subject for your study was the right thing to do. Consent matters quite a bit. You could have asked people "Are you up for me asking a few questions to test this?" and even use blogs that do not consent as a data point (In the idea of "Out of all blogs asked for participation, x% agreed to participate). A reader that wants to educate and help people will probably consent and be clear about the questions asked. If anything, by going this route it also can provide possible data about more consistent blogs, if spirits, deities, or other entities are more consistent, and even possible pantheon information. You would need a team for a study like this, since only one person asking a question is too little data points anyway.

Again, my mistake, but I did feel as if it was something to address.

- Jack

Thank you, I appreciate that.

That's a fair point, although part of the reason I didn't do that was in the interest of blinding - telling them they're going to get some questions for test purposes may end up with them changing something about how they do their reading and that messing with the data.

It doesn't much matter now anyway; it's not something I really intend to restart, given that pendulum "kinfirmation" blogs aren't very common these days.

[plusultrakincore]

hi! do any of the mods here know of non-pendulum-related ways to figure out if you do or don't kin a character? i'm not super comfy with divination (?) type things (personal religious reasons ;;) and i was wondering if there was some kind of other way to figure out whether or not you're kin? sorry if this is a bother, and thank you!! ^^

❥ Good night, anon! It’s 12AM so I’m a little sleepy, I’ll try to not ramble much; but I get the aversion to pendulum stuff. There’s way more ways to figure it out besides that! In fact most do without pendulums because they’re merely second opinion guides and not guaranteed; so what I usually do to help figure it out is read the wiki pages if I can, definitely indulge in the source if possible by reading or watching/playing it to get a feel for their personality and story, and I even look up art sometimes just to see if anything feels right or like I vibe with the emotion. More often than not if you stop thinking about them after a few weeks (and you haven’t kinfirmed) that means to me at least that maybe it wasn’t meant to be but if they’re always on your mind in questioning I’d look into why there’s any attachment at all! Sometimes people kinfirm because they get early-on mems from characters that solidify their feelings. I hope this helps you!! Good luck and take care!! 🖤

[kin-assistance]

So I've noticed something. Every time I find a character in a new piece of media that I instantly love, I end up questioning them and 90% of the time kinfirming them. I feel... super invalid actually? Because I feel like I'm just making it all up even though I KNOW I'm not. Is this something others have experienced?

I don’t see it as a common thing, but I also don’t see it as impossible, just unlikely. I kind of have had that, last few fandoms I got seriously into all had IDs (either c’links or kintypes) from them, with the except of RuneScape which I all but based my identity on anyway as a child.

It’s not a likely scenario, but possible that you’re drawn to them because of your kintypes, with the idea that the other fandoms around just didn’t strike you as interesting compared to the ones you subconsciously already knew.

Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do the introspection, though. Definitely do that. I’d also check for any fictionflickering, that’s more common than it originally seemed to be. But if you’re sure, then fair enough. I’m not gonna argue that one.

~Mod Lu

[thebibliosphere]

@kinfirms​ tagged me in a post talking about how internet “mom” culture is toxic, (I saw your tags, dont worry <3) and wanted to talk about it a little, but without the queer phobic language it was giving off.

For the most part, I fully and readily agreed with parts of the post detailing how adults can and do behave inappropriately in online spaces towards minors, and how the parental name thing can be a power move. 

I grew up with a lot of fandom “mom” types, who with hindsight, turned out to be rather toxic and predatory. One of them actually took great joy in being a “corrupting” force, and would make lewd jokes and inappropriate comments towards us. And us being vulnerable kids who wanted to fit in and belong went along with it, because it made us feel special to be talked to like we were fellow adults. 

Except we weren’t fellow adults and nor were we being treated as such. We were impressionable youths being treated like toys to stroke an older person’s ego, and that was 110% not okay, and those adults should have known better not to engage with us on those topics.  

I’m hyper aware of being an older person in certain groups now, and try to act accordingly. I try to distance myself while managing to remain encouraging and supportive and hopefully, a positive signifier that people like me can and do grow up into happy (semi-)functional adults. I know there were times growing up when I feared I would not.

I will also never insist that anyone call me “mom”. It’s not a name I picked for myself. It’s an honorific deserving of great respect and mindfulness towards those who gave it to me, not the other way around. People can use it if they want to, and I will respond to it if people use it, but it’s not a role or title or sign of authority, and it’s 100% up to others if they want to use it or not, I don’t mind either way. And just for the record, I also respond to Aunt, Sister, Cousin, Bib, or even my rarely used actual name, Joy :)

I work very hard to respect the boundaries of others, and adhere to my own rules of interaction. I don’t follow back anyone under the age of 18 (with very few exceptions), and I always try to ensure the age of someone when they start talking to me about certain things. 

Most of the people calling me “mom”? Seem to be in their early 20s, chronically ill or queer like me, and or at college age and going through that weird panicked stage of “help, I need an adultier adult how the heck do you make a food budget” so it’s not too much of a problem, but I still take those extra steps anyway. 

I tag my work, I put it under cuts and generally make it known that I don’t want anyone under the age of 18 to read my 18+ work, because it’s the responsible adult thing to do—and it’s my responsibility to lay down those terms. Not the minor. 

If a minor ignores my requests, my tags and the numerous other steps I put in the way to keep my NSFW work hidden? That’s on them, and I can only hope they find it positive and maybe possibly affirming as well—just don’t tell me about it. (I speak from experience, as a minor who went onto 18+ forums looking for something that would show I wasn’t alone with my thoughts and feelings. I found acceptance in queer fanfic that society and family otherwise denied. I wasn’t awful for liking both Superman and Louise Lane, I wasn’t awful and wrong or alone for not being sure if I wanted to be Princess Leia or be with her. And that was very important for 15 year old me, even if it would take another 15 years for me to feel safe enough to tell others.)

When people started calling me “mom” of their own volition, I had a real internal debate over how I felt over using that same moniker others had used before me, and done so in a harmful manner. I wasn’t too keen on it at first, it felt weird, but when people kept on using it without me prompting them to, I came to the decision that hey, it’s just a fun nickname poking fun at my personality, so I just kinda rolled with it. But I also made the conscious decision that if I was going to allow for that nickname, I would strive very hard to be worthy of it and be the adult I needed as a young person, and not like the people I had known.

But that all said? Not all adults take this mindset, and do not behave appropriately towards teenagers and young adults, and you should absolutely be wary of anyone who puts themselves in that position of authority.* It makes me extremely uncomfortable when I see other adults talk about younger people as their “minions” or pets. 

They are not. 

They are people who are deserving of your fundamental respect and often looking for some sort of help or guidance from a role model they lack in real life, or even just want friendly people to talk to about the things they love. They are not there to prop up your ego. Don’t do that shit. Reflect on your own behavior and say “if this was my child, would I be happy about the way I am interacting with them?” 

If the answer is “no” or “I’m not sure”, that’s also a no, and you need to back the fuck off and reevaluate how you interact with others as a whole.

If you are in a fandom or online forum space where the adults are not behaving mindfully of your age, undermine you, or insist on inserting themselves in your life as an authoritarian parental figure? Go with your gut instinct and get the fuck out of dodge. 

You are no one’s minion. You are you, with your own boundaries and levels of comfort. Don’t let anyone try to take them from you or make you feel bad for being uncomfortable with their behavior. That’s a common tactic used by abusers, and if you say to someone “what you are doing makes me uncomfortable” and their response isn’t “I’m sorry, how can I change that?”, but defensive anger or guilt tripping you? Fuck ‘em. There are other groups, other people to talk to. Make your own if you have to. Block anyone that makes you feel uncomfortable. You don’t have to put up with that bullshit to prove your own maturity or worth.

*And just because I feel this is important to say: please question me. Challenge me, point out when I say or do something that makes you feel uncomfortable. I won’t be mad or offended. I welcome corrective feedback. Tell me if I use an out dated term or if I word something poorly so I can apologize, reevaluate my behavior and try to change for the better. I’m human and therefore always learning and making mistakes, but they come from a place of ignorance, never malice. Take care of yourselves out there <333

[roguejeans]

mems / general info

just a post to collect general facts / mems abt kin stuff for easy perusal!

first and foremost, i had 2 timelines, which does make things a bit confusing because i’m not always 100% sure what memories are from what. i haven’t sorted them by timeline because i’m not 100% what goes where--when i’m more sure, i’ll do that, but for the time being, if some stuff seems familiar but some doesn’t, don’t let that dissuade you, necessarily!

i also only kinfirmed about a month ago, so i’m still sorting all this stuff out (even though i’ve had memories for years; for a long time i just had a big “? - taz balance” on my kin list)

i’m not going to sort these by timeline for that reason; i think my timelines were maybe at least mostly similar & i’ll sort out how they differ later on. the only reason i know i have 2 is because i have 2 conflicting memories involving something specific

i currently have aphantasia, which makes visualizing things extremely difficult (& actually painful, at least in my case; i don’t know if that’s normal but it’s how it is for me); a lot of my more ‘visual’ memories are more feelings because of that

i’ve had success triggering full on visual kin memories during lucid dreams in the past, but i haven’t been able to do this with either of my barry timelines yet. otherwise, my memories are usually based on other senses

i don’t think i had a mullet, or at the very least i didn’t have one as intense as the one in the graphic novel if nothing else. i dont think i looked too much like i do in the graphic novel ... it doesnt feel right

i became pretty close with kravitz post canon! some fanwork likes to portray us as just being coworkers or acquaintances; that was not the case here. we became really really good friends and brothers, more or less. i called him one of my best friends (of which i did, admittedly, have many, but it still counts!)

i was a trans man in at least one of my timelines, but it also wasn’t a huge deal? i’m pretty certain i transitioned fairly early on in life (magic probably helped a lot there), and/or it was a world where it wasn’t a big deal in general. i don’t currently have any memories of talking about it in depth to the crew; i guess it’s genuinely possible they may not have known?

i actually had a pretty good relationship with the raven queen--we weren’t quite as close as she was with kravitz (i think that would take a lot of doing) but she did eventually mean a lot to me too. same with lup, i’m pretty sure

i did forgive lucretia, but it wasn’t as easy as lup made it seem. i don’t know. it was a lot of ... steps forward and back almost, for a little while. in the moment it seemed so easy for lup, to just tell lucretia the whole thing was forgotten, and i wanted to support her, but it was so hard--when she’d sought me ought and vilified me for a decade, taken everyone away from me and left me alone like that. but lucretia was also my sister, and i couldn’t forget that, either. it took me a few months, but i forgave her, even if it took a little doing and it wasn’t totally smooth. lup helped a lot. (i miss you, luce. i forgive you, if you’ve forgotten in this life and needed to hear it again.)

in one of my canons i feel like lup & i got married AFTER the day of story & song? it may have been like. a second wedding situation -- after all, an actual Full On wedding on the starblaster wasnt exactly an option anyway really? so we could have already gotten married really privately somehow?  -- but i feel like i remember... an actual bigger Event happening post taz finale. hmm.

ill update this with more as i think of it

im also more than happy to talk one on one to discuss stuff, including stuff i havent mentioned here!

[kincuddles]

May I get some positivity for America? I've recently kinfirmed him and just.. 1.) I'm american and feel no pride whatsoever for this country. I genuinely want to leave it asap. 2.) The show makes him out to be a self centered, inconsiderate doof who eats too much. I was nothing like that in my canon, but knowing people thought that of me wrecked my self esteem then and it wrecks my self esteem now. I want to be proud of this kintype like I am with my other ones, but instead I'm ashamed of it.

[Alright, I know you since I know Hetalia, but just reminding everyone to please put your canons in the asks (not abbreviated if possible) because even though I know plenty by chance, the amount of games/shows/books/etc. is only growing so I could get tripped up (° v°;;)]I kinda understand your feeling there, especially with your country where empty pride seems to be shoved over actual issues often. But if anything, Hetalia heavily caricaturizes every country, not just you. Each of them is up on that boat, down to the micronations, and only less amounts of comic/screen time can save dignity. There aren’t many fans who realize the actual weight of a country personification, of which there are only minor glimpses of in canon.As much as Himaruya utilizes the stereotypes and actions of the people themselves and their governments to build up the nations’ personalities and all, realistically the drag of time across centuries would drastically shape an individual above just what their people think. If Hetalia took a realistic approach to the concept, it’d probably get really depressing, and a lot of the countries would act very similarly, which is not desirable in a series with loads and loads of characters where going by tropes and stereotypes makes them more differentiable and easier to remember.  But anywaysWhat I see that you could do is focus on whatever good deeds your people have done (all in all I’d consider your character song good for background) and their overall contribution to the world. On the other hand you could also feel a personal pride that is disconnected to your people, or that focuses on your natural riches instead. Like yeah the inconsiderateness of your people is enormous, but that doesn’t necessarily needs to apply to you. Feeling shame to begin with is a big step in knowing you’re better than how they represent you.                         - Kida

[the-caws-meow]

hey man.... i have............a question............. im lowkey considering the possibility of me being kin, but im also like....... v confused abt what kin actually is??? im just.... i wanna figure it out so i can kno if im kin or just like. relating super heavily to a character....... and from what i can tell ur kin, so maybe you can explain it???? sorry to bother you

hey don’t worry about it lovely, it’s v brave and smart of you to get extra opinions on this! i hope i hit everything you need and if i don’t feel free to message me privately

from what i’ve found from basically diving face first into this community is that it’s different for everyone. some people know instantly and some people take a while. some people have a lot of memories and some people have almost none and that’s okay!! it all depends on the person, ie you.

but i’m getting ahead of myself, so what is kin? there’s actually different kinds! there’s the i relate so strongly to that character that it’s literally me, and there’s hey i was you wasn’t i?! it’s sadly just up to you to figure it out, no one can do it for you! course you can always get help but i’ll go over that in a minute.

so firstly, don’t get too discouraged if your kin is abstract and doesn’t fit canon at ALL. there’s people kin w au’s ones w tl’s that are just bonkers and not even close and it’s honestly amazing in my opinion. a whole world almost no one else knows about it remembers in their head, crazy right!!!

oh and don’t forget there’s no right or wrong way to do it, who cares if someone else says anything shitty, you discover what works for you and stick with it!!

okay so how you can get help. i know this is p scary for a lot of people but try to talk to some people! ask them to tell you their memories and see if that triggers something. ask them how they personally figured it out. things like that. you can also try doing things kin people do to get new memories like listening to certain types of music, memory walks, rereading the source material, just talking things out w someone, etc etc.

you also have to remember it’s okay if you make a mistake!! as you grow and develop so does your mind and it might be like uhhhh houston we have a problem i’ve made a hUGE mistake and you just have to be like man that’s okay!!

you can kinfirm something and later be like ope nope i lied and that’s totally fine! you could say i have 1 single kin then go find another one and be like �� well shit and that’s also okay!! there’s no right or wrong way to do it!!

a little personal and off topic advice: submerge yourself in the community but be careful about it!! avoid drama cause like in anything there’s always those groups of assholes who are mean for no reason. but from what i’ve found there’s some spectacular and amazing dudes n gals n everything in between out there that are nice and willing to talk things out and just in general are a pleasure to be around

i hope this was helpful, sorry it’s so long!!

[fictionkinfessions]

hey um maybe im overreacting here but @ the recent mrs afton im not sure that “break up” is the right response to a friend kinfirming a character. idk much abt the source here but like regardless the micheal who sent the original ask said they havent even told their friend theyre uncomfortable with him joking about kinsidering william and generally the first step if youre uncomfortable with something your friend is doing should be communication, not just ignoring it until it reaches critical mass. i understand the protective instinct here but i dont think its responsible to respond to “my friend joking about kinsidering this character makes me uncomfortable and idk how to tell him” with “break up if he kinfirms :( sorry” when you dont personally know the situation. if you tell your friend the jokes are squicking you out and he keeps making them, thats a red flag regardless of whether or not he kinfirms. if you tell him and he stops and respects that boundary youre setting, thats a green flag, again, regardless of whether or not he kinfirms. you need to communicate though i usually dont weigh in on these convos at all but i really do think the advice being given here is not appropriate. idk in the end here its all gonna depend on the nuances of how your specific friendship works but if you drop a friend solely because he kinfirms a character, even if its a character you personally had a bad relationship with, i think something has gone wrong somewhere along the way.

so anyways i dont want to just be all negative here so in response to the original question, altho i may be missing some context here: if yr friend is making jokes about kinfirming this character- i assume this is making you uncomfortable because that character did bad stuff? thats the vibe im getting from the response from someone who does at least know the source? i think its worth saying “hey could you make these jokes somewhere else” (depending on the jokes, since you didnt say “my friend is making jokes about doing terrible things” im assuming hes not, you know, doing that) but i know a lot of people joke about (possible) kintypes because they arent totally comfortable with them yet so, you know, if you arent reading these jokes as cruel or malicious, which it didnt sound like you are? i really do think just saying “hi this makes me uncomfortable could you do it somewhere else or tone it down in front of me please” and seeing how they respond and working from there is your best bet, assuming you want to, you know, keep this friendship, because… again thats the vibe i got. idk. i really hope this isnt coming across as mean i really do not have any malice towards anyone here im just not sure the conversation was heading in a constructive direction.

[shadowfae]

I've recently stumbled across the word "otherkin" and it seems to describe certain feelings I have, but the tumblr tags seem to be full of unuseful information and, well, silliness. I'm sort of looking for people to talk to while I try to sort myself out, without making too much light of it. Do you have any advice on sifting through everything?

Besides going ‘AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA’ and never doing anything about it?

First things first. You’re new, so we’re going to divide this into two parts. Part one, crash course on otherkinity, alterhumanity, and the little branches of it you should know about. Those words and terms will help you figure out what’s what. Part two is great, you know all these terms, how do you sort through the mess that is kinfeels. 

Under a readmore because long, since I ramble sometimes. I’m glad you asked, and if you have any further questions, hit me up again and I’ll do what I can.

Part One: What Even Is Otherkinity

Otherkinity is identifying involuntarily and nonphysically as something nonhuman. You aren’t saying you are physically this thing (as you are physically human), you cannot choose to be this thing and can’t choose not to be this thing, and you do not identify as human 100%. 

The modifiers: Fictionkin means you can be something that is human, but it must be fictional (like Harry Potter or Percy Jackson or smth). You can be a member of a fictional species that isn’t human (like the Elf Queen’s Daughters of the early 70s that started the fictionkin community). It is still involuntary and nonphysical.

Otherkinity is divided into three ‘main’ branches: therianthropy, otherkinity, and fictionkind. Therians (or therianthropes) ID as an animal that has been or is on Earth. Like dinosaurs or foxes. There are an absurd amount of wolf therians here on tumblr. Those that are obviously faking or haven’t questioned enough for even themselves and just went with ‘wolf’ because it’s cool are called wolfaboos. Usually I just don’t talk to them, since to each their own and they’re not actively being annoying, but please don’t just “oh I’m not human clearly I’m a wolf” the moment you get kinfeels. Things don’t... work... like that...

Anyway. Otherkinity as a sublabel of itself generally has within it our conceptkin (I’m calling it that for now. Things like voidkin or starkin), theriomythics (fantasy animals within mythology such as unicorns and youkai), draconics (draconity, which is dragons and pretty self explanatory), the vampire and were____ communities, and probably a few others.

Fictionkind I already went over. I have three kintypes that are fictionkind in nature. They are called fictotypes for this reason. (Kintypes is the label for all of them, but there is also theriotypes and fictotypes for therianthropy and fictionkind.)

Those fictotypes are Pale Noël from the Evillious Chronicles, a noncanon Devil from DSP’s works, and an Absol from Pokemon. As I have more than two kintypes, I am in what we call ‘polykin hell’. Though tbh, most people put themselves in polykin hell when they’re up past five. Poor guys.

The things that are close to otherkinity but not actually it!

Copinglinkers- They ID as something voluntarily to cope with something. Usually trauma or mental illness. While not otherkin, they are alterhuman and do belong in our community. They are also called copingkin, which is a bit outdated but since copinglink is a new term, I’ll let it slide. (It was coined by @who-is-page, actually, and they are a delight to follow if you want to see antikin absolutely dragged through the mud.)

Otherhearted- Those who identify not as something but with it. As an example, I am faehearted and shadowhearted. I identify with those things because one of my fictotypes did, and that carried over. It is very easy to mistake heartfeels for kinfeels. Regardless, like c’linkers and ‘kin they are alterhuman and totally rad.

Synpaths- Tbh I’m not quite sure what’s the difference between synpaths and ‘hearted. (I have heard it is ‘ID with this’ versus ‘I want to hug that’ but you should not be asking me; as I don’t have a fuckin’ clue.) Either way, if you think you have a synpath go research that. Please don’t ask me, I don’t know. All I know is that they exist and they do stuff, so they’re worth mentioning.

There are also ways to be otherkin, for lack of a better term. Ways you explain why you identify as these things. There are two main ‘branches’ to this: spiritual and psychological. There are also religious, cultural, and probably a few other reasons, but let’s go with the ones off the top of my head.

Spiritual- Can be anything from ‘my soul is this and my body is not’ to ‘I was this in a past life, and it is still relevant’. (You can have past lives that aren’t kintypes. The difference is simply how much they affect you. I do believe I had a life a fuckass long time ago in second age Senntisten, but as it isn’t relevant outside of vague memories of fire, it isn’t a fictotype of mine.)

Psychological- Anything from ‘I used this as a c’link at one point but it is now irreversible, and I am this now’ to ‘My brain decided to be wired weird and now I ID as this’. Essentially, you have a psychological reasoning for being kin or hearted or whatev. Psychological otherkin get thrown under the bus a lot because really angry copinglinks insist they’re kin and we’re “gatekeeping ableist jerks”. The difference is that c’links choose and can drop their identity. Psychological otherkin cannot. The line can be pretty blurred, and in that case you’d best just slap down “I am this, currently questioning if c’link or kintype”. Literally nobody can yell at you for that. I’ve had to do it before. Never did figure out what it was, but it doesn’t matter now.

Religious- I don’t see this one as often, but I think it’s something along the lines of ‘my God wants me to feel like I’m this for X reason’? Or maybe it’s a past life thing that your religious says you have. (I think Buddhism does that, but I am no religious scholar and I might be wrong.) 

Cultural- I’ve seen this mostly in Native American folks, but I’m sure they’re not the only ones. What I have seen is ‘my family have always been crows, so I am a crow therian’. I don’t know much about Native cultures, despite having grown up around them, so I suppose if you had cultural reasons, you’d already know? I do believe spirit animals play into this, but I’m what we call ‘exotic white bread’ and I am not the authority. But I also don’t know who to redirect you to about this. Hm. I’m gonna have to go asking around.

And of course, to finish off part one: multiplicity. That’s a fun one.

Multiple systems aren’t kin. Not hearted either or anything. They’re the other ‘main branch’ of being alterhuman. They are usually several people trying to pilot one body. They use terms like fictive, which is not fictionkin(d), though the two get confused an awful lot. A fictionkind person is someone who IDs as someone or something fictional. A fictive is a part of a multiple system who IS that person, with usually no other identity. 

Using myself as an example: I am fictionkind, and one of my fictotypes has green hair. I do not have green hair right now, and that fictotype is not my entire identity. A fictive is more like “hi I’m Harry Potter and I live here now, in your body, with you”. That would be his entire identity: he is Harry Potter.

Factives are close to that, but real people that do or have existed on Earth. That’s like “hi I’m Shakespeare and I live here now”. It’s possible to have system members that are neither. That’s chill.

Supposedly, multiple systems can be both trauma-born and not-trauma-born. The latter is usually called endogenic, I think. DID/OSDD are two disorders that cause multiplicity, but as far as I know they are not the only ways to have multiplicity. You can soulbond and things, which is like the copinglink for multiplicity as in you bring someone in voluntarily. (Tulpas are also a multiplicity thing.)

Part Two: How Do I Deal With Maybe Being Otherkin Without Just Screaming Into The Void

First things first. My way is not the only way to do it. It is one method, but it tends to work for lots of people so here’s the method I know. It’s chill to ask around and figure out what others do, and then find the method that works for you.

Second things second. Do not ask a pendulum or divination blog to kinfirm something. It is a terrible method. You can divine yourself, but do not ask anyone online. Nobody’s divination is always right, and when you’re doing it online, the chance of being right drops exponentially. Bad method, 0/10 do not recommend. (You can totally divine for yourself, though. My tarot deck is particularly sassy about my own god complex from kinfeels.)

And the actual method.

1. Go create a sideblog. Name it whatever, find a nice theme you like. Make sure it is readable and not just pretty.

2. Make a tags page. I suggest doing this over a couple of days, because you are going to forget what tags you need. You want to sort between ‘angry vagueing about nothing making sense’ from ‘feels related to this’.

3. Document EVERYTHING EVER. If you think it is kin related, write that down. If you have vague memories of something, write that down too. Tag it appropriately, if only so you can find it later. (’tag later’ is a good tag if you’re on the go and know you’ll forget if you don’t write it down now.)

What I also do is fill this blog specifically with images that resonate with me. I use a queue and tagging system for this. (White blossoms is the tag for gentle TLW things; whereas black blossoms is General Edge(TM).) You should put images that resonate with you in a Particularly Kin Way on that blog. If it’s art or anything, remember to source it, though. Reblog, don’t repost. 

Also, if you’re into requesting things from kin blogs like stimboards or aesthetics, have a reqs tag for them! Keeps it all in one place and you know where you got them from. I like JUST put in mine and I am angry I didn’t do it before.

Then, self introspection. You need to ask why on everything ever. Question things. Do you do insertthinghere because your parents said so, or does it seem like you just have to? 

If questioning feels very upsetting or uncomfortable, stop for the day. I don’t recommend any more than an hour and half in one go. Your brain will confirm things that aren’t true in order to work with you. (Confirmation bias, I think it’s called.) Keep the questioning to short bursts, even if you’re on a roll.

If you must go longer, document document DOCUMENT. Writing things down makes them clearer, and halfway through writing you’ll go “oh shit that’s why that happens”.

It’s okay if your writing is messy or only makes sense to you. This is all your own, and how you go about it is entirely your decision. 

Questioning should take you weeks or months. There are a few outliers who can kinfirm something in two days and be right, but let’s be honest here: nobody likes them because we all envy them and want to be them, so we don’t like them. All jokes aside, keep it to a pace you can handle and don’t bite off more than you can chew.

Got all that? Good. Now do a shit ton of research. If you’re questioning, say, harpykin, chase links across Wikipedia and read everything you can get your hands on about harpies. You might come across something else that’s close to it: off the top of my head, the Maximum Ride series, for example, is close-ish to harpies. Check that out too, but if it doesn’t resonate, don’t push it. If it ain’t a thing and you know it isn’t, don’t bother with it, it’ll get you nowhere.

Ask around! Don’t be afraid to ask someone “hey do you think this could happen?” Nobody’s input is the end all be all, but if they’re someone you think is educated on the matter, take it into consideration. (You would not believe how much of an idiot I felt like while doing research on demonology and a friend pointed out that Christianity is not the only religion with demons. It’s obvious, but never occurred to me. You will get that feeling at some point. Happens to the best of us.)

Lastly, go at your own pace. And if you have done all of this, it will be several months from now. Go back and look at your oldest kin documents. You will understand it all so much better, and you’ll mentally high-five your past self for knowing so little, but being so full of hope anyway.

Of course, if after all of this someone tries to invalidate you, it won’t work. You’ll have done the research, the self introspection, the grueling grind of “why why why?”. They can’t tell you the sky is red if you’re not colourblind. If they try to grill you for your information, you can point them nicely towards your probably-a-trainwreck of a sideblog and they will see your documented adventure of ‘what am I?’. And then they will stop talking, because you have proven that you know what’s up.

And as the very last piece of advice? You will be wrong. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. You can be questioning. You can say “I don’t fucking know!!”. You are allowed to have bumps and wrong turns in your journey. They will happen. It’s okay. Take a deep breath, see where you might have made a mistake, write that down, and keep going. Progress is progress. You’ll figure it out eventually, no need to know it all right this very minute.

I hope this helps, little anon! This is how I came to find out I was- and I’m not done yet, either. I have some oceanic kinfeels that I know exist but don’t know what they are: fuckers better show themselves to me soon because I’m onto them. Who knows where that adventure will take me.

[blackwinged-soul]

This shift is slowly taking over my life, and I think it’s the one I’m noticing the most Dramatic Change in thus far! ;; (Possibly because it was a human life, mostly, and my physical body “meshes” most easily with this one?)

Though I first kinfirmed and Felt Thief King, I think my shifts are actually coming from the Ryou life.

Maybe I’m even more INSENSITIVE than usual? Not intentionally. I’m not “disregarding” everyone else’s feelings, I’m just not THINKING of things, not realizing the results they could cause. Less insight, or forethought. I actually told my stepmother, though my tone was light (though maybe disappointed?), “You don’t have to get pissy about it.” I would usually NEVER say something like that? It’s inflammatory, abrasive, and invalidating - not something I’d usually say at ALL..Especially to my abuser! ;; Especially when she’s clearly in a bad mood! ;;;; 

But after she stomped away, I recovered my calm and (almost HAPPY?!) contentedness within FIFTEEN MINUTES. Not bothered at all by the empathy; hardly noticing it, in fact! (I may have been a psychic sensitive as Ryou, I think, but I’m starting to think definitely NOT an empath.)

Even with dental work. It’s a very strange phenomenon, though not entirely unique in my experience. But even the way I’m experiencing pain, and withstanding it, has changed dramatically! Lidocaine alone numbed me for one, within 2 or 3 shots. Which is UNHEARD of for me? ?? ??? (I’m usually Very Anesthetic Resistant. A couple weeks ago, they had to use 5 shots of lidocaine, 2 of septocaine, and a “PLA” or something to numb me up.) There was a dull pain, but I could dissociate myself from it with ease, and calm too, staying aware but separating the pain and then putting a little “blocker” on it, like numbing it with magic instead. (Usually I “preemptively heal” myself for pain. But my instinctual move to stop pain in this shift was immediately “block it off”.)

And the other tooth, well it wasn’t SO easy. It took the Usual amount to numb me up. It started alright. But when they pulled and it Hurt Badly, all of a sudden my whole body seized up, and on the next breath I was crying. Once they gave me another dose and the pain quieted down, though, I was able to calm down quite quickly. My breathing only shuddered once. (For reference: It took me about 2 hours to calm down last time I started crying from a filling. Granted, she didn’t give me any more anesthetic, but, you know, that was a Blue shift day, and... Blue and Emotions are like the hot and cold fronts that form a tornado. Sometimes passing safely, but others, Devastating.)

This shift’s Emotionality is.... not as new to me, thanks to BD shifts, but the swift yet also gentle way they move is very different. Feeting in, and fleeting out jsut as readily. With Blue shifts, the emotions are heavy, forceful, they rise up slow and hard, like forces of nature, that build over time, and they don’t face easily at all. But these? They’re quick responses, but they fade really quickly, too. I feel more emotionally sensitive, and I’ve cried much more easily, but it’s a sort of emotional Tenderness, not Overwhelming. I feel like my emotions are Okay. There’s... no POWER in them. The magics I’ve worked were guided more by thought and desire, than emotion and passion. It’s mind-boggling how different it feels, to feel in this shift. Like it’s safe and easy. It’s not exhausting, it just... comes and goes, and I’m okay with it. My emotional “baseline” is a generally contented sort of light-heartedness. I’m more easily moved to positivity.

But also, I’m feeling more uncoordinated and a little bit... like a dumbass, honestly;; I spilled water, I tripped in my room, I’m missing details of what people are saying, it’s taking me twice as long to think through an answer, consider the options, and make a decision. I feel a little air-headed, more distractable than usual. Certainly less grounded, thought-wise. (Energy-wise, I think this shift softens it and makes me feel so much MORE grounded! Because the energies inside me aren’t clamoring to come out, for once. The empathy is actually quiet, and I’m even distracted from THAT.)

My mother pointed out that, when we went shopping after the dentist, I was sounding “snarky”. Which I didn’t understand, actually she warned me that she knew I probably wasn’t aware of it (”dumbass”) and should avoid people at home today so I don’t get myself in trouble. (I haven’t told her I’m in a shift with a lower EQ, apparently, but clearly my tone’s changing even for simple things like talking about how to tell if a honeydew is ripe;; ) I started crying about that, too. (I’m always frustrated when I misinterpret how my tone is coming out-- i didn’t hear/notice “snarky” in my own awareness at all, and didn’t want someone to think I was mad at them or something. But also, How Can I Stop Myself, and what if my stepmother gets mad?)

So I decided to write a note warning the family that I got teeth surgically removed today and it was painful so if I sound snippish or withdraw in the next couple days, that’s why, I’m not mad at anyone.

And then realized, my decision to write a note is ALSO possibly shift-induced. 8F